Competitiveness and rivalry is not a childhood experience exclusively. Some adults never really grow out of it. To a large extent the attitude towards this subject comes from upbringing and family values. Homes that discouraged comparison, keeping tabs on others and tug-of -wars just never raise the misplaced adult. So what does a misplaced adult do and look like ?
Excerpts from a discussion with a professional LIFE COACH
A complicated case :
The woman was about 40 something. Known to be a social person, sweet and interactive is the protagonist in this case. This side of her was visible only as long as the other person in her view was not in any shape and form -a threat to her esteem. The problematic individual would show up when she met her match who she thought was better than her. It was a surprise she held a job with the kind of attitude that was destructive. Many colleagues and peers had conflicting views on her nature and conduct. This meant there were 2 people here both socially and also professionally. One who was nice and manageable with the ones who she thought were not her league. The other a malicious and difficult person when she encountered those far better than her basis HER own perspectives.
Most other women who were intelligent, fit, attractive and doing well became her sworn objects of distaste, obviously. Arrogance and bossy tone would be ejected to intimidate such prolific women. Indirectly that attitude only meant she was threatened and insecure; but the experience for innocent victims was a baffling one and nobody had the kindness of heart to pardon her utter disrespect for people and their rights. Further study showed her behaviour caused much grief and annoyance to another community she lived a while ago and practically left home and hearth because of foul relationships.
Of all the coaching cases I have worked on – this particular case who was not a coachee but showed all signs of maladjusted psychology became the epitome of “The damage that Competition and Rivalry can cause “.
People such as the case explained above; do not find success in life from the angle of peace, calm, composure or sense of well being. Their negativity spreads within the home and much unnecessary pressure is delivered to the spouse and children. Most often they are unwilling to see themselves as people who need professional help. Because the nature of the disorder is not limited to just them but also impacts others – the damage is a wide range. Schooling and education can influence our minds only for a bit. A huge chunk of responsible upbringing still lies with parents.
Message from the LIFE COACH
As parents be responsible towards grooming your child / teens mind. That is the centre of all harmony. If you compare they will see life using the same lenses. This will be the next adult who measures their career success by a colleagues yard stick ! We are all in search of happiness. The one quick way to stay and be happy is to “Look Inward”. The practice of keeping an eye on your own spirit, your own journey, your own actions, your own progress card is the blinker that will keep you on track and happy too. Teach that as core value to your children. Follow it yourself.